Nkechi Bianze wrote 👇👇👇

I’ve noticed that A LOT of feminists who are divorced SUFFERED A LOT before they left their marriages.

While I applaud them for finding the courage to leave; I can’t stop asking myself why a feminist would take that much buIIshii before deciding to leave a messy marriage.

Me, I DON’T have the strength or any atom of endurance to endure shii. Before I got married, I visualized how my life will be in two scenarios…

1. Remaining happily married to my husband and we raise our children together till death do us part.
2. Divorcing, then buying my own house, raising my children with love and keeping boyfriends here and there.

I prefer option 1.
But option 2 remains an option, and it isn’t too bad.

If I get divorced today, in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years or never, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO IN ANY OF THE SCENARIOS.

I went into marriage knowing that ALL marriages end in either..
1. Death do them part,
OR
2. Divorce.

I prepared for BOTH situations.

It’s called hoping for the best while preparing in case the worst happens.

IN MY OPINION, no woman should get married except she knows what to do in the event of divorce.
In other words, if you don’t know how to get out of a bad marriage, then don’t get married.

We need to be realistic about marriage.
There are TWO PEOPLE in your monogamous marriage. You and your spouse.
You have control of only what YOU do.

No matter how much you think you know your spouse, you can’t with 100% certainty predict what they would do in 5, 10, 15 years or more.

MEN PROTECT THEIR INTERESTS in marriage.
Women do nothing to protect themselves. They marry “kind men” hoping these men remain kind. In many cases, these “kind men” were never kind. The actually kind ones stop being kind at some points.

Whenever I talk like this, some ewus will say you are advising women to prepare for divorce. And THEY ARE RIGHT.

When you drive with a seat belt, the ONLY REASON you wear a seat belt is to prepare for accidents in case they happen. Why are you wearing seat belts? Why are you preparing for accidents? Why not just pray?!

When a road accident happens, your seat belt might be the difference between life and death. I have seen accidents whereby all the people wearing seat belts escaped with minor injuries while ALL those without seat belts died on the spots.

My father wore seat belts all his life. He never had an accident and he didn’t die in an accident. So, wearing seat belts and preparing for divorce doesn’t mean you will have an accident.

Exactly how preparing for divorce doesn’t mean you are praying for divorce.

MEN ALWAYS PREPARE FOR DIVORCE before marriage. That’s why they make sure all assets are in their names. So that they can claim ownership if divorce happens.

A lot of divorced Nigerian women left their marriages “seriously injured” because they never prepared for divorce.

Just like seat belts protect you from injuries in case sn accident happens; that’s how preparing for divorce will save you from major injuries in case of divorce.

It’s basically same logic.

If I divorce today, I know exactly what to do. A lot of you women don’t know what to do outside marriage. You can’t survive alone. That’s why you will rather remain in si++y marriages.